This is what I was really thinking:
I am tired. I drank too much caffeine yesterday and stayed up until 3am, scrolling infinitely through Instagram. I need to stop pretending I am not addicted to social media. I need to put the phone down, and stop poisoning my mind with posts that reflect a godless society. I also need to take better care of my health.
I am worried about going home. I am dreading confronting all of my family dysfunctions. I am afraid to be lonely after being surrounded by other college students every day. I am wary of overworking myself in order to make enough money. I am scared of my own freedom, and how wisely I will use my time.
I cannot stop contemplating my relationship status, despite preaching about how content I am with being single. I think I will be happier once I admit to myself that it is okay to have these emotions, and it is okay to yearn for romance. It does not make me less of a woman. I think I need to fall more in love with God, before falling for someone else.
I am stressed about financial issues. My goal to make enough money this summer to fund a trip to Italy. My dream of traveling is drifting farther and farther away, and I wonder if my teacher paycheck will get me anywhere in the future. I hate how money dictates my life.
I am thinking about how much I overthink. I am thinking too much about my problems, and not enough about God, who is the only one capable of fixing them. Yet, I will continue to keep all of these woes to myself. I hold these problems tightly to my chest out of protectiveness, like carrying a small child. It is my own, and only I can tend to it. Therefore, I say nothing of the previously mentioned.
This is what I was really thinking when she asked me how I was doing, and I responded with, “I’m doing well.”
However, it is okay if you are not doing well. Everybody has his or her own fears and thoughts that plague their minds, but do not let them overtake you. These problems do not have to be your own, because you alone cannot tend to them.
Anxious thoughts thrive off fear. In order to let them go, we need to give them to God and trust that He will take care of them. This is why we pray. Pray about every little worry that crosses your mind, all the time, because nothing is too big or too small for the Lord to handle. You can be honest with Him.
Tell people what is going on. The Lord works through the people around you, and if you keep everything inside, you are keeping Him out. Let yourself be vulnerable with your friends and family. They only want the best for you, and they are often hurting too. You can help each other. You can be honest with them.
You can be honest. Tell them what you are really thinking.